Remember recently I told you that I SO don’t keep up with the Kardashians? The main reason I’m not a fan is because I know it’s all totally scripted.

And this last season, all the stuff they did to that basketball player giant was totally cruel! OK, so I MIGHT have watched just a little of their take New York show.

In this one scene, Khloe and Kourtney put a snake in Kris’ bed. Who does that?? Seriously, I can’t stand MacKenzie and I would NEVER put a reptile under her covers.

And then there was the way Kim treated him. She was always like “Wah wah wah…I’m so rich and SO unhappy because this isn’t the fairy tale I dreamed about!!”

I am usually super sensitive to boy problems because I think we girls need to stand by each other!

But it’s totally obvious she married him for the $18 million she made off their televised wedding, and then she made him look like a dang fool on national television.

SO mean!!

I think that E! should give ME a reality show instead! I can promise that NO 6’9” athletes will be hurt in the making of MY show!!

What will my show be about you ask? And where will the drama come from?

Hello! You’ve read my diaries! You know my life is drama central!

Of course I’ll have to script it just a little. I’m pretty sure I won’t attract millions of viewers with a slow-motion scene of Brianna spilling milk while trying to eat her cereal with her hand friend, Miss Penelope.

And even though the trash-in-the-locker thing was pretty scandalous for my school, I don’t think it would bring in the ratings like the hair-pulling brawls you see on those Real Housewives shows.

Don’t worry…I wouldn’t totally sell out or anything! I’d just have to make my life a little more interesting.

So here’s what I’m thinking: Brianna will need to have some kind of horrible habit that she’s totally in denial about. I think Red Bull would be the best way to go. No, I won’t give her actual Red Bull!!

She’s already crazy hyper! The last thing she needs is an energy drink!

I’d empty a bunch of cans (because I’m not drinking that stuff either! I read it stunts your growth, and I want to be Tyra’s height some day!) Then I’d fill them with apple juice, because it’s pretty close to the same color.

BAM: first point of drama for my very own reality show…my impressionable younger sister is throwing her life away on Red Bull!

The next thing a good reality show needs is constant bickering. I don’t actually like fighting very much. (I’m more the “Can’t we all just get along?!?” type).

So I’m going to ask Chloe and Zoey if they want to pretend they’re super mad at each other when we shoot the pilot (that means the first ever episode!)

I’m thinking it can be over some kind of boy drama. Ooooh! I got it!

Chloe can be like, “You’ve been flirting with Paul like it’s no big deal, and it makes me sick because he’s really your secret, long-lost brother!”

Everyone likes a secret relative!!

The only other thing I can think of the top of my head is mom getting pregnant with sextuplets. But I think that might take some convincing.

OMG I am so kidding about all of this! I would NEVER want to have a reality show!

Seriously, I think those people lose all touch with ACTUAL reality, and they never realize what’s happening because they’re too busy rolling around in piles of money and counting their designer shoes.

I just want to grab them all by the shoulders, shake a little sense in them, and say, “Step away from the camera!!!”

The competition shows are pretty cool though. I’m ALL ABOUT Dancing with the Stars!!

What do you think about reality TV? Good? Bad? And what shows do you like?