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January 16, 2014

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU KEEP LYING TO YOUR FRIENDS

Advice Column Jan. 16

Today’s question comes from Annie, who writes:

I have this problem. My friend keeps inviting me over to her house but I can’t go because my mom doesn’t let me, so I lied to her, saying that I needed to get a flu shot. Now I have this really guilty feeling.

She invites me to go ice skating, but I can’t go and so I make up some lame excuse. She is really cool and I like her a lot. I was going to tell her the truth but I am afraid that she might get angry and probably not want to be my friend. Please help me!

My Advice:

Hi Annie! I can tell you’re super stressed about this. No worries…I’m here to help!

I know you think the problem is that you keep lying, but I’ve got news for you: your REAL problem is that you’re scared to tell the truth.

Don’t feel bad about that, though. Everyone worries about telling the truth at times…especially when you really like someone and you think the truth’s embarrassing.

I remember this one time when I was on the phone with Brandon. My mom picked up the other line and said, “Doodlebug, come downstairs. I got you a Happy Meal!” (SO glad I have a cell phone now!)

I was secretly really psyched to see what little plastic toy was in that thing. (Don’t judge…I’m a collector!) But I didn’t want HIM to know that, so I said, “It’s me on the phone, not Brianna. Gotta go, Brandon. See you tomorrow!”

I totally lied so he wouldn’t know I’m just a big kid whose mom calls her humiliating pet names. (And then totally rushed downstairs to get my Happy Meal!)

The good news for you is that your friend is a girl who is the same age as you…so odds are, she can totally relate to any embarrassing thing you may be going through.

I would bet you two month’s allowance that her mom hasn’t let her do everything she’s wanted to do, and that she’s made lame excuses too, just to avoid saying, “I would come, but my mom won’t let me!”

So next time you feel afraid to say the REAL reason that you can’t do something, instead of saying, “I’d love to but I lost a lot of hair in the shower drain and it will take me all night to find it!” tell her what’s really going on…even if you text it instead of actually saying it out loud.

I bet when she reads, “Can’t believe my mom said no…she’s so overprotective!!!” she’ll write something like, “OMG, sounds like MY mom!”

What do you guys think? Do you have any advice for Annie?

Category: Ask Nikki Tags: friendsnikki

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