• Dork World
    • Nikki’s Diary
    • Ask Nikki
    • Ask Brandon
    • Academy
    • What’s New
    • Meet the Author
    • Dork Diaries Books
    • For Teachers
  • Dorky Stuff
    • I Heart Writing
    • Videos
    • Fan Art
    • Games
    • Meet the characters
    • Fan stories
    • Calendars
    • Wallpapers
    • Party Kits
    • music
    • Dorks Around the World
Author:
Rachel Renée Russell

dd14-menu-booktitle

Dork Diaries Book 14

Dork Diaries

#1 New York Times Bestselling Series

 

Ask Brandon



Get the BOY side of things!
Dollarless Dork
Salon Brianna

April 29, 2017

I CAN’T CONTROL MY TEMPER!!

brandon_post_photos_72

Hey Brandon,
I have a BIG problem. I just can’t control my temper! I don’t know why, but I just can’t. My temper is SO bad. Once, I was fighting with my older brother about sitting in the front seat of the car. He won the ‘battle’ and then he pushed me out of the way. I was SO MAD that there was smoke coming out of my ears!! Then I went and shut the door while my brother’s foot was there and I ended up hurting his foot. That incident got me into HUGE trouble! 🙁

Please help me control my temper!

Thanks,
Trouble With Terrible Temper Tantrums

Hey Trouble With Terrible Temper Tantrums,

Okay. Well, first of all, I think it’s great that you realize your temper is a problem. And I’m really glad that you’re asking how to control your TEMPER and not your ANGER. Because anger is healthy and normal. It’s okay to get angry, and it’s important to release your anger. The thing is finding a healthy way to handle it that won’t hurt you or anyone else.

Here are some things you might want to try the next time you’re so mad that smoke’s coming out of your ears:

  • Slugging a punching bag (or just a pillow or mattress)
  • Screaming into a pillow until you feel better
  • Journaling about what you’re feeling. You can write or draw. My friend Nikki does it all the time!
  • Going for a long run, or doing some other physical activity
  • Practicing breathing exercises

It might also help to think about how you respond when you get angry – but do the thinking when you’re calm. Sit down and think about different things that might make you angry, then brainstorm possible responses. There are probably certain things your brother does that get to you. And your parents, teachers, and friends might also have different ways to push your buttons. So, think about those things, and how you might respond, and plan out healthy ways to express your anger. You won’t always be able to remember these plans in the heat of the moment. But, sometimes you will and it’ll help.

An easy fix for the heat of the moment is to come up with a simple phrase that reminds you to control your temper. It could be, “I am in control.” Or, “I’ve got this.” Or, “Stay calm.” Practice repeating it when you ARE calm, along with breathing slowly. And then, whenever you feel angry, repeat the phrase inside your head. Take three slow, deep breaths, and then count to ten.

So, these are the steps:

  1. Repeat your phrase.
  2. Take three deep breaths.
  3. Count to 10.

If the situation is happening in a place where you can easily remove yourself, do it. You might talk to your parents ahead of time, and tell them that you’re working on controlling your temper. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you can ask to be excused and go to your room to get a hold on yourself. Basically, put yourself in time out! Tell your parents that you will come back to discuss the issue when you are more in control. You might even be able to arrange this with teachers, if you are having trouble with your temper in the classroom.

If NONE of this helps and you just feel like you can’t get a hold on your temper by yourself, there’s nothing wrong with asking for help. (I mean, you asked me for help, right? 🙂 ) You might need a doctor or counselor to help you with anger management.

But, I doubt it! The fact that you know there’s a problem tells me that you’ll be able to handle it.

Hey readers, how do you handle anger in the heat of the moment? Does your temper ever get the best of you?

Category: Ask Brandon Tags: angernikki

Comment Guidelines

I’m happy to post your comments (as soon as I can) as long as you follow these 7 rules:

  • All comments MUST be on topic!
  • Comments that either request advice or offer advice will NOT be posted if they are OFF-TOPIC.
  • NO bullying or mean behavior!
  • NO bad language!
  • NEVER share your personal info, including your age!
  • Do NOT share links to other websites or blogs.
  • Make-Up a Silly Name or Post Without a Name (NEVER use your real name!)

Comments

  1. Bothering Bro says

    May 18, 2017 at 10:48 pm

    My brother is the worst brother you could think of x 10.

  2. Guitar Girl says

    May 17, 2017 at 11:35 pm

    I once got so angry I broke a kid’s nose!

  3. sailorWater says

    May 17, 2017 at 4:45 pm

    I’ve got anger issues too, and listening to calm music, without words really helps. It also helps my anxiety. Hope I helped!

  4. sound of music says

    May 17, 2017 at 3:31 am

    Just simply remember your favorite things and then you won’t feel so bad!

  5. Princess says

    May 15, 2017 at 6:43 pm

    Sometimes when you breath in and out that helps. Or sometimes you can also do your favorite activity to calm you down. Like for example if you like reading then read until you calm down or if you like watching tv then watch tv until you come down.

    • Dork Diaires Rules!! says

      May 16, 2017 at 11:27 am

      Thanks Princess! Now I know what to do.

  6. Dorklover02 says

    May 15, 2017 at 3:31 pm

    Omg! I can totally relate to this! This seems to happen everyday with me and my 8 year old little sis cuz I’m 14 (6 years older than her) and we fight a lot and she thinks that she always wins the fight but I try my best to ignore her no matter how hard upset I get. But I know that one day she will ask me to forgive her, and I will.

  7. Your biggest fan says

    May 15, 2017 at 7:28 am

    Whenever I’m feeling g mad I just go into my bedroom and calm myself down by listening to music or reding a book

  8. Lisa&Lena #Twins says

    May 15, 2017 at 1:03 am

    Well…… I never had a Brother but I had an older Sister named LISA She always bosses me around and I had to do whatever she says!!!!! well the weird thing is we had never fight with each other before We met each other for almost 11 years !!! That is a short and true bio about my life (: THX

  9. Teen Titans Go ! says

    May 14, 2017 at 3:32 pm

    Hi Trouble With Temper Tantrums Here Are Some Ideas To Control Your Temper
    1. Listen To Your Favorite Music
    2. Take Deep Breathes
    3. Take A Drink Of Water
    4. Journal About Anything
    5.Take Part Of Some Physical Activities
    6.Count To 10
    7. Tell A Adult You Trust They Can Help
    Sometimes Someone’s Temper Can Get The Best If Them My Best Advice Is To Channel Your Anger By Doing The Things You Love Most And Encourage Others With Anger Issues To Do The Same Good Luck

    Teen Titans Go Is Out

  10. Linds106 says

    May 14, 2017 at 7:22 am

    That was great edvice
    Brandon

  11. Linds106 says

    May 14, 2017 at 7:21 am

    That was great edvice

  12. Princess Candy says

    May 14, 2017 at 4:12 am

    Mostly my sister can’t control her temper once she got so mad she slammed the door really hard and screamed until dinner she was so loud

  13. Nerdy Pandacorn says

    May 13, 2017 at 7:46 pm

    Been there, done that!
    Older brothers can be sooooo annoying, right? Well, I’d recommend making a stress ball. You just take a balloon, fill it with flour, tie the top, and you’re done!!

  14. bluestone alley says

    May 13, 2017 at 8:50 am

    my brother is so annoying!

  15. A1AWESOME says

    May 13, 2017 at 7:24 am

    I’m like you!

  16. How I control my feelings says

    May 12, 2017 at 11:43 pm

    I would hurt my younger siblings but I would never do that.Instead I just breathe,read,and wright in my diary.Also when I get mad I go to my room and cry instead of hurting other people.My mom is a nurse and used to work at a hospital.So I know that crying is better than hurting other people or yourself.Thank You For The Tips Brandon!

  17. Happy says

    May 12, 2017 at 7:06 pm

    I have been there!!!! It is hard. Gotta say, I’m not over it.

  18. dorkdiary fan says

    May 12, 2017 at 5:12 pm

    you give good advice brandon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  19. Pupsy says

    May 12, 2017 at 4:52 pm

    WOW! Me too I have anger issues. 🙂

  20. MacKenzieRules! says

    May 11, 2017 at 10:16 pm

    I know how you feel. It’s me and my temper.☺

  21. 12 For Ever!!! says

    May 11, 2017 at 4:16 pm

    The boys in my class ALWAYS get on my nerve. When its the last straw (which is most of the time) I put on my “head phones” and act like I’m going to fight them, but I never do. One time one them actually ASKED me if I wanted to fight after school and I told him in a calm voice, “No. I don’t want to hurt you and I don’t want to get in trouble.” Then I just walked away……

    P.S.(I’m in 4th grade.)

    • koalanana23 says

      May 16, 2017 at 4:06 pm

      WELL I AM IN 6th GRADE

      To,
      12 For Ever!!!

  22. Heartbroken Dork says

    May 11, 2017 at 3:41 pm

    OMG! Thanks SO much for answering to this!! I was hoping that someone would ask something like that, because I have a SUPERhard time with controling my temper too! Thanks Brandon!!

« Older Comments
Top ▲
Ask Brandon a question

Get the boy side of things!

Hey, guys! Having trouble talking to the girl you like? And girls, do you ever wonder what boys are really thinking? I’ve got you covered! I’m here to give you honest advice from a dude’s point-of-view. Understanding the opposite gender doesn’t have to be as hard as Honors Calculous. As a guy, I’ve learned a thing or two about girls just by hanging out with my friend, Nikki. So, go ahead! Tell me what’s on your mind! I’ll answer a question each week and post one of the cool pics I’ve personally taken of the kids at my school.

Search

Brandon's Advice

Ask Brandon a question

    Ask Nikki Maxwell a question

    Freaking out about a problem?

    Nikki Maxwell's diary

    Read Nikki's latest adventure

    Recent Comments

    • SingingSuperStar on DORK DIARIES BOOK 7 – POP QUIZ!!
    • PotatoPotterhead on Miss Your Friends? Plan a Virtual Party! Part 1
    • dorkdiaries#12345 on March Calendar: Springtime Walk
    • Anonymous on Miss Your Friends? Plan a Virtual Party! Part 1
    • Meow! on DORK DIARIES BOOK 7 – POP QUIZ!!

    WEBSITE MAP

    • What’s New
    • Nikki’s Diary
    • My Books
    • Ask Nikki
    • Meet the Author
    • Ask Brandon
    • Merchandise
    • Videos
    • Fan Art
    • Academy

    BUY THE BOOKS

    • Amazon
    • Powell’s
    • Barnes & Noble
    • Simon & Schuster
    • Books-A-Million
    • Target
    • IndieBound
    • Wal-mart

    DORK DIARIES INTERNATIONAL SITES

  • Brazil
  • Germany
  • Italy
  • Portugal
  • Bulgaria
  • Greece
  • Korea
  • Romania
  • Czech
  • Holland
  • Latvia
  • Taiwan
  • Estonia
  • Hungary
  • Lithuania
  • Turkey
  • France
  • Israel
  • Norway
  • UK
  • Top ▲ · Copyright © 2021 Rachel Renée Russell · The Dork Diaries Series is written by Rachel Renée Russell and published by Simon & Schuster Children's Publishing · Privacy Policy · Terms and Conditions