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Rachel Renée Russell

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Dork Diaries Book 14

Dork Diaries

#1 New York Times Bestselling Series

7

August 27, 2019

OLD SCHOOL TALENT SHOW!!!

Today, my mom and I went to see Grandma Maxwell perform for Senior Talent Day at the local community center. The grand prize was $100, so Grandma Maxwell and her friends were really excited to participate. The eighteen people that signed up were super-competitive and going all out to win that $100. I didn’t think it was that much, but Grandma said senior citizens were on fixed incomes and $100 could buy three years of denture cream!

However, she didn’t say ANYTHING about helping her and all her ancient BFFs do a skit!!!

Not only THAT, but she had told everyone that of COURSE I would LOVE to be the stage manager!!!!!

As soon as we walked in the door, Grandma grabbed me and dragged me with her down the hall to where all the performers were getting ready. I was so shocked, it took me a minute to realize Grandma had a streak of hot pink in her hair!!!

“Yoo hoo, ladies and gentlemen! Here’s our stage manager,” Grandma announced to the room full of old people. Some were putting on makeup or costumes. Some were warming up their voices. One guy was struggling to lift his accordion out of its case.

A frazzled-looking woman my mom’s age shoved a clipboard into my hands. “Oh great, thanks so much for volunteering to do this! We’ll start in five minutes.”

And then she disappeared! And so did Grandma!

Grandma wasn’t hard to find, though. I followed her familiar cackle and found her with three other ladies, practicing some moves.

“Grandma, what am I supposed to do?!” I stammered.

Grandma waved her hand at the clipboard. “Oh, that’s the show order,” she said. “Just make sure everyone gets on stage at the right time. That’s all!”

I looked around. Accordion guy had already fallen asleep. Two ladies in feather boas were arguing over a tube of lipstick. Grandma did a spin and would have probably fallen and broken a hip if I hadn’t been right there to catch her!!!

I wanted to run away screaming, but what if someone DID break a hip?! It would be all my fault!!!

I looked at the list. “Martha and Doris?” I called to the room. Nobody paid attention, or maybe they couldn’t hear me.

“Over there,” Grandma said, pointing to the feather boa ladies, who were still arguing over the lipstick.

I marched over to them. “You’re on, ladies.” On the counter in front of them, there was another tube of the exact same lipstick. I opened it up and applied it to their wrinkly lips. “Let’s go! Break a leg! Or a hip! Except please don’t!”

They got up, and headed for a door that turned out to be the entrance to the stage. I’m not gonna lie, I felt a rush of power!

My job for the next hour was basically making sure each act was awake (and alive?!) and ready to go on when it was their turn.

“Bossy little thing, isn’t she?” an old guy with a trumpet muttered.

“No, Frank,” snapped a woman using a walker and wearing tap shoes. “She’s got executive leadership skills!”

Grandma’s act was on last. A minute before they were supposed to go on, her friend Midge’s phone rang.

“No phones,” I said, reaching to take it, but she slapped my hand away. It stung, too!!!

“That is my grandson calling,” Midge told me. “He NEVER calls. I will NOT miss this call, young lady.”

The other ladies in the group nodded in agreement. “You always take a call from a grandchild,” one of them agreed.

I shrugged. “Guess you’ll have to do it without her,” I said, hearing the applause for the act before them.

“No way,” Grandma insisted. “You’re taking her place!”

“What?! Grandma, no, I don’t even know—”

And then she was dragging me through the door and onto the stage!

“Helloooo, Westchester!” Grandma smiled to the almost-full auditorium. “We are the Old School Grannies! And we’re here to drop some sick beeps!”

Then she turned to me, like she was waiting for me to do something!!

“Beeps, Nikki,” she shouted. “Drop some beeps!”

“You know,” said Ethel, one of her friends. “Like this!” She put her hands up to her mouth and started spitting noisily into them.

“Beat boxing?” I said. “You want me to beat box?”

“Pretty sure it’s ‘beep box’,” Grandma said. “But yes!”

I do NOT know how to beat box! (Or beep box!) But that was okay, because Grandma and her friends didn’t know how to rap! It didn’t stop them from having a great time, so I did my best.

And honestly, I ended up having a great time too! 🙂

Have you ever been in a talent show before? Tell us about your talent! If you’ve never been in a talent show, what would your act be?

Category: My Diary Tags: grandmothernikki

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Comments

  1. hi says

    September 17, 2019 at 1:16 pm

    Im a good comedian ‍♀️

  2. HGA says

    September 16, 2019 at 5:24 pm

    I`ve never been in a talent show and I do believe I have a few talents somewhere but none which I could show in a talent sho- wait oh my gosh I sound weird lol

    If I was at a talent show I would do what I always do- pertend like I had already went and it was the other person`s turn.

    Yea that doesn`t always work!

    -HGA`s Random Comments

  3. Proud2BCatholic says

    September 16, 2019 at 7:41 am

    I am so sorry that I have not been commenting in the longest time! It has been like… six months? My talent is horseback riding! I often compete in rodeos and dressage.

    • Pennsylvanian Cowgirl says

      September 17, 2019 at 7:35 am

      Really?! NO WAY!!!!! That is so AWESOME! I love competing in rodeos, barrel racing, cross-country, and dressage! I actually live on a ranch in Pennsylvania. So, I actually wake up at 4:00 in the morning and go for rides on either my mare Rose-Gold or my other mare Queen. Good luck with the competing! I am always so happy to hear about fellow riders!!!

  4. fam says

    September 16, 2019 at 3:45 am

    i’ve been in a few shows before, part of an acapella group, actually. I handle the percussion, or what most people know as beatboxing. Most people tell me to take up music or art, but i’m not sure what the future has to offer. As of now, I’m aiming to be a neurosurgeon. Maybe I’ll move to the city and start work at a large hospital, or maybe I might open up a small business nearby. Anyway, beatboxing is a talent I’m thankful for. It’s given me more chances to interact with society and overcome my stage fright. Thanks for asking, though! I’m just hoping the group stays intact.

  5. Who I Am says

    September 15, 2019 at 10:29 pm

    My talent is singing. I am going to audition for AGT this fall!
    SQUUEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

    • dorkforlifelol says

      September 17, 2019 at 12:23 pm

      congrats!

    • GalaxyRose says

      September 17, 2019 at 4:47 pm

      That’s cool!

  6. cute dork says

    September 15, 2019 at 2:32 pm

    I have been in a talent and won second prize, it was so much fun

  7. Anonymous says

    September 15, 2019 at 7:04 am

    cool grandma

  8. Cutie kittie says

    September 14, 2019 at 9:01 pm

    I am a good singer and i play the trombone

  9. Oblivious says

    September 14, 2019 at 5:51 pm

    It is amazing girl your a fashionista

  10. Music266 says

    September 14, 2019 at 1:46 pm

    Love music. I can “beep box”!

  11. StarGirl says

    September 14, 2019 at 12:32 pm

    I have been in a talent show but they didn’t let me perform they kept saying my act wasn’t good enough. Instead they chose the most popular kid in the school to be in it

  12. #Via.com says

    September 14, 2019 at 9:03 am

    classic! I’m glad my grans not cray cray 🙂

  13. Anonymous says

    September 14, 2019 at 8:31 am

    That. Was the BEST story I have ever heard. Though I dont think I would want to do any of that myself, it honestly did sound like a super fun experience. 🙂
    And no, I’ve never been in talent show. Maybe if I get the chance I will. ^u^

  14. Chocolat says

    September 14, 2019 at 4:20 am

    Nikki, You ROCK

  15. nothing says

    September 13, 2019 at 11:17 pm

    I was in a talent show once…..

    but I took my name off the list. I even missed watching it for my brother’s high school graduation.
    I really didn’t have anything to do with it sooooooo yeah………….

  16. Makinze says

    September 13, 2019 at 9:47 pm

    I have been in a talent show before I played the piano and I came in 2 place

  17. Anonymous says

    September 13, 2019 at 5:54 pm

    I can sing decently, I can dance decently, I am a ventriloquist, a gymnast, and have acting experience.

    I think I might be a LITTLE talented…

  18. HGA says

    September 12, 2019 at 5:29 pm

    This totally reminded me…
    I NEEDZ YOU GUYS HELP!!!!

    I have to do a play this year or they drop my grades

    I don`t want to do anything there…the lights,sets.making the sets,onstage,behind stage…….

    but I kinda sound like a lazy student….

    I so do NOT want to do this!!!!!!!

    [But i kinda already signed the contract….]

    I don`t know what to do!!!! WHY does ze school make you do it?!!?!??! uggghhhhhhhhhhhhh

    -HGA IR
    [Hopefully Good Advice In Reverse}

    ps: Does the name even make sense?

  19. Joker_Girl says

    September 12, 2019 at 4:33 pm

    Never been into a talent show. Does being creatives counts as a talent?

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