Dear Nikki,
My friends are kind of CCPs. They want me to act “normal” so they tell me to have “better” clothes, hair, and interests. One time they pranked me by locking me in the bathroom. Sometimes they come to my house and they snoop through my stuff! Not only that, but they insult me for having video games and Barbie dolls. One time my friends almost broke my console… on purpose!! CAN YOU HELP ME, NIKKI?
Bullied By Besties
Hi Bullied By Besties,
Okay, I’m going to be real with you. This might be hard to hear. But based on what you’re describing? These people are NOT your friends! 🙁
Like, if you’d just written to me about one of these issues, I might tell you to stand up for yourself and communicate with them about how they’re hurting your feelings, maybe you have different senses of humor, etc. But this whole list of things all together? These are NOT friends.
I do wonder if they all pick on YOU and you alone, or if they’re kind of always nasty to each other. One is not a better situation than the other, really. But especially if you’re the main target of all this behavior, this is bad. And you deserve friends who love and support you for who you are. Friends who would stand up for you AGAINST people like this!
I know it probably sounds really scary to just get out of an entire friend group. Maybe you feel stuck, like they’re your only option. If they’re NOT your only option, just get out now. You can tell them you don’t like how they treat you, or you can just ghost them (that means to abruptly end the friendship without warning or explanation). Whatever feels more comfortable to you.
If you do feel sort of stuck and like you’ll be friendless if you get out of that group, let’s brainstorm… Is there anyone in the group who isn’t so hard on you? Like maybe there’s someone who doesn’t stick up for you, but doesn’t join in on the teasing? Maybe they look kind of uncomfortable when the others are being mean? Maybe you can form a bit more of an alliance with them. Have them over and try to develop your friendship with them. If you know someone has your back, it might help.
Also, open your mind to who might be friend possibilities. You said these girls are CCPs. I wonder if the reason why you’ve stuck with them is that being a part of the CCP group is cool. But if you’re getting bullied within that group, it’s definitely NOT cool. Some friends down the social ladder who are into what you’re into and accept you for who you are would be WAY more cool! 🙂
Believe in yourself and either stick up for who you are, or get out and find real real friends!
